My Holiday!

This is a good one! I thought about it for a few days, and one of my ideas stands out way over the other ones! My holiday is this:

It takes place one day a year, between in close proximity to the christmas season. It has two rather outrageous components: The first is a complete reversal between daytime and nighttime activities for one 24 hour cycle: All but the most essential of services and businesses will be closed during the day on a particular friday, but rather than celebrate and be proactive like on a christmas or thanksgiving, we are encouraged to rest for the coming night. Once the sun starts to set, all businesses, restaurants, shops will proceed to open as usual and people will carry on with their usual routine from the hours of about 6pm till around 4am. Then, as the sun starts to rise on Saturday morning, as the bars and nightclubs will open for business, all major telecommunications companies will temporarily shut down the use of the internet except for those that have filled out a painful 38-page form in triplicate requesting a special exemption for business or emergency use. The spiritual crux of the holiday will be for people to gather with friends and family for these reverse-night-morning hours and LEAVE YOUR CELL PHONE AT HOME. It's not that crazy, 1996 didn't feel like the stone age when you lived through it, did it? Anyone caught with a phone will be chastised, and ribbed and humiliated. Perhaps for a few brief hours, people might stop worrying about what they could be doing and just do something... like have a conversation with friends without checking and writing text messages every 15 minutes. Just a thought.

Humor

I spontaneously recorded my friend, a stand up comedian in training last night. He was extremely inebriated but its still pretty entertaining, I wanna chop it up a bit though.

What if

What if dreams had box office returns?
What if undertakers drove el caminos?
What if we were magnetic?
What if water stung?
What if interstates were underground tunnels?
What if I didn't get sick this week?
What if internet bandwidth corresponded to relative humidity?
What if razor wire went wireless?
What if sound had a taste?
What if clouds are laughing at you?
What if the wind talks about you behind your back?
What if cocaine was a popular condiment?
What if the FCC bowdlerized your bathroom usage?
What if God was a sex toy?
What if you couldn't use the Internet on Sundays?
What if we bought cars for our newborn children?
What if you knew better?
What if mcdonalds sold sashimi?
What if the mind's eye went blind?
What if Rachmaninov was locked by DRM?
What if you could sell your emotions?
What if tv's were illegal in public?
What if the weather was publically traded?
What if we could only love once?
What if music could give you the silent treatment?
What if the universe got lost on the way here?
What if death forgot to call you back?
What if our brain had a corporate sponsor?
What if cats sold your story to US magazine?
What if you didn't have to pretend like you don't?
What if I didn't come to class today?
What if your teacher had a tip jar?
What if bubbles had OCD?